Chapter Fourteen: "Why?"
Baby Steps: The Land, The Tiny House, The Tiny Porch
I don’t have to have kids yet to know the annoyance that the overuse of the word “why” holds. “Why are you doing this, why are you doing that, why didn’t you do it this way or that way?”. Doesn’t that word just suck the confidence right out of what you thought the right decision was? I could be so sure of what my next move should be until someone strips it down and I have to defend every fine detail to the point where I don’t trust the quality of my own thoughts anymore. “Why, why, why?”. I do believe there is a constructive use of the word. A “why” that encourages solidity in your actions, choices, and beliefs. Or a “why” that helps you see things from a new perspective from someone you trust and who has the experience or wisdom to validate the question. But be aware of the “why” that is derived out of fear. It is the hardest to detect because it is often used by the people we care about most. They mean absolutely no harm, right? They just want you to be safe, make good choices, and not see you get hurt. And don’t get me wrong, these questions aren’t wrong! But keep in check the power you allow them to have over your decisions. “Why do you want to get a motorcycle? Do you know how many motorcycle accidents there are every year?” and then they proceed to show you a compilation video of the worst motorcycle accidents ever. “Why would you want to drive all the way up to Alaska? Isn’t it cold? Isn’t it always dark? Don’t go eating any food outside of your car, you’ll get eaten by a grizzly!”. “Why would you buy that house? How will you afford it? What if you lose your job and now you’re locked into a mortgage and the economy plummets and now you cant sell it and also cant afford to keep it? What will you do then?? Are you prepared to live in a carboard box on the street?” A lot of the time I’m so overwhelmed with conflicting thoughts and new fears that I abandon the goal. “You’re right, that was a silly idea. It would be difficult wouldn’t it? You’re right, what if things dont go absolutely perfect? Blah blah blah.” But sometimes if I’m confident enough, I’ll follow through with the idea even harder because my stubborn pride kicks it in high gear and I want to prove to them and myself that I can do it regardless if it’s still the best plan! Honestly when I think of it, both of these thought processes are wrong in their own way because I lose. I’ve allowed their words to control me. I shouldn’t be so easily swayed that the fears that another has (no matter how sincere they may seem) cause me to well up with so much emotion that I spiral.
“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words can control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.” - Warren Buffet.
Study the quality of the words. How much impact should the words hold considering the person giving them? Control over someone is one of the hardest things to do but it’s one of the easiest things to allow others to do to us. So keep faith. Keep faith in what you believe you’re capable of and what you deserve. Nathanael and I have done a lot of things that people thought were silly, risky, foolish, whatever. If we would have based all our faith in what we had prior to buying this property we never would have even thought twice about purchasing it. We’re not anything special by any means, we just put our faith in our purpose, in what’s possible if we’re willing to learn, be challenged, and work hard, and even put faith in our ability to fail and fail well because you’re always going to experience it. There are many people
I know out there crushing it because of their faith. You motivate me!! The mind is so powerful and that's where it all starts.
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If you’d like to follow our venture I’d love to see you follow our pages @ThePreludeXII on Facebook and Instagram. I hope to encourage people to not deify common sense and to go all in for their passions and purpose and if this only encourages one single person to do that than it's more than worth it!